Home > Whatever > Five people you can’t miss on (an American) campus

Five people you can’t miss on (an American) campus

Disclaimer: For entertainment purpose only. No pun intended.

1. The oh-so-handsome boy carrying disjointed conversation with the quietly disappointed girl. Girl: “That Prof. is so mean. He assigns too many essays.” Boy: “Don’t bother. Go to the gym. I’m a gym freak. My muscle weight increases awesome. Used to be 160 now 180 (?). Once you start you can’t stop.” Girl: “That’s cool. But I need to pass this class on a high note. Promised myself I’ll do better (this semester).” Boy: “Awesome. Just now I could have gone there (the gym) but it’s crowded this time ’round. Many guys want to lift weight. And they don’t even clean up (after using weights). Gross.” Girl: “u-huh…” (trying to finish lunch asap). Boy: “Yeah, I know.”

2. The nose-pickers who are also fist-pumpers, hand-shakers, and hi-fivers. Tall, athletic-type, wearing hoodie and sneakers, possibly earphones. Fingers that pick noses are usually quite long. And the action itself must be extremely satisfying, ‘coz they tend to whistle afterward. When they cross path with a buddy, the next natural step is a fist pump, or hand shake, or hi-five along with the what’s-up-man macho voice. Business as usual.

3. The three-time oh-my-God super-girly girls. “OMG, OMG, OMG he’s over there.” “OMG where?” “Under the board. Talking to someone. OMG OMG what should I do?” “go say Hi.” “What you two are talking about?” “Jake.” “OMG he’s here?” “Under the board.” “OMG you look flush. Haha.”

4. The I-don’t-care-what-season-it-is-I’m-wearing-mini-skirt. The I-don’t-care-what-season-it-is-I’m-wearing-boots. The cold-what-cold-real-men-wear-shorts-and-T-shirt. And the if-I-wear-collar-shirt-and-vest-this-sh*tty-campus-will-feel-like-Oxford.

5. Finally, the foreign student gang that has no idea what “loud” means.

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